Sunday, 1 May 2011

We are loved

Today I had a truly humbling experience, which taught me something very important about how much we are loved.

Every Sunday afternoon, my mom teaches the Teacher Improvement course to our ward, which I am lucky enough to be a part of. Today, we needed to go and fetch the people for our class, because their usual lift was sick. On our way from the one sister to the next family, we saw an abandoned white kitten on the side of the road. Both my mom and I wanted to stop, but it was a very busy intersection and we couldn't. Anyway, we went on to fetch the next couple and then went up to the chapel - only to find when we arrived that my mom had forgotten the chapel keys at home! We decided at the point that we would go and have the lesson at our house. I had almost been in tears up until this point, because I was so worried about this kitten, so I asked my mom if we could go back past the corner where we had seen it. My mom agreed immediately, even though it was going to double our distance.

Praying the entire way that the kitten would still be there, and would still be safe, I was thrilled to see it sitting exactly where we had left it. Luckily, the intersection wasn't so busy then so we could go across the road to bring it to the car. I had a blanket in the car, which I use when I go to varsity early in the mornings, and I wrapped the kitten in it. The kitten soon fell asleep; it was clear that it felt safe. I felt absolutely certain that Heavenly Father had guided us to this kitten so that we could adopt it, and keep it safe.

We went home and had our lesson, and the kitten was sleeping on a blanket next to me, and occasionally waking up to nibble a little Pronutro. After the lesson, I tried washing it, but it was mewing so pitifully, and it was shaking, and was so clearly terrified, that I just stopped, and let it sleep on my lap in front of a heater until my mom got home. While I had been washing her, I realised how thin she was. There was absolutely nothing between the bone and the skin. You could see her ribs, you could feel her individual bones... it was the scariest thing I've ever seen! I wanted to cry just when I saw her. She was so weak and helpless.

When my mom arrived home, she managed to wash her more effectively... and it was then that we realised how flea-infested she was. They were crawling through her fur like you would not believe! They were crawling all around her face and her ears... you could see each one individually. We went to the 24 hour vet, because we were so worried about her. We got her some special food that they use for their hospital patients, and also some special de-flea medication that is specifically meant for kittens. We put the medication on her, and then about half an hour we noticed that she was struggling to breathe, and she kept having convulsions. We tried giving her some of the food we'd been given, and also some rehydrate, but it didn't help her. My mom was worried that she was reacting to the medication we had given her, so we phoned the vet and described the symptoms to the receptionist, who immediately said we should bring her in.

We didn't hesitate. I was in tears the entire way to the vet, just stroking her, trying to comfort her. I don't know if I've ever been so scared before. When we arrived at the vet, we were immediately ushered in to the consultation room (despite some contention from the other people in the waiting room!) and the vet started examining her. He said that she was too far gone to help her, and that she had probably had some infection for a number of weeks; we couldn't have done anything more for her than we did. He took her away to put her to sleep.

We were blessed not to be charged for this; I think that's probably because he knew we had picked her up off the side of the road only a few hours beforehand.

For the next 2 hours, I cried almost non-stop, and I have now got a severe headache from all of the crying. But I realised something very important. I had thought that Heavenly Father guided us to that kitten because it needed a home, when really, he guided us to that kitten so that it could die feeling loved. If He cares that much about a 4 week old, 400g kitten, how much does he care about us? I almost can't fathom that kind of a love, it's so great.

I am just so grateful that I could make that kitten happy... even if it was only for 5 hours before it died. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father gave me this opportunity, no matter how painful it was. He showed me exactly how much He cares.

After all, he cared enough for a 400g kitten, to give it the chance to die feeling loved.

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