Fifty Shades of Betrayal

On my way home from work today, I saw a poster for LuvLand, an adult store. It read, "Fifty Shades of Grey: Let the fantasy become a reality." It was advertising what they called their exclusive platinum collection, which I'm guessing is some sort of collection with mementos from the movie -- you know, so that you can let all of your wildest sex fantasies from the books or movie come true. Well, guess what. These little mementos won't fulfill you in any way; these toys will do nothing but destroy your life.

I'm a teacher at a girls' high school, and last year I discovered the first little bit of betrayal that Fifty Shades of Grey is bringing to society. A Grade 9 girl, probably about 14 years old, came to me very excitedly one day to tell me that she was reading Fifty Shades of Grey. "Ma'am, it's so brilliant! I love it so much! I can't put it down! Why don't you read it?" Her words were something along those lines, and she was extremely excited about this new discovery of hers. I told her that I didn't want to read something that was so inappropriate. "But Ma'am, you can just skip past those parts," she said. Well yes, I guess you can... but how long will it take for the curiosity to get the better of you?

This girl is one of the sweetest girls I know: she is innocent, kind, funny, smart and dilligent -- and yet, at the young age of 14, she is being told that this kind of literature is acceptable, and even brilliant. Mothers, how would you feel if your sweet and innocent 14-year-old daughter started to portray the kinds of behaviour that are in Fifty Shades of Grey? Well, guess what? They watch you. Every time a mother picks up that book or wants to watch the movie, her daughter thinks that it is acceptable.

The next scary realisation I had of this book's power over young minds came this year, just before the movie came out. I had a Grade 10 girl in my class, and I noticed that the cover of her English book said "Fifty Shades of Grey" on it. I asked her if she liked it, and she responded very excitedly, "Ma'am, I love it!" That adoration shocked me. I know this girl. She is also extremely hard-working. She has a great love for reading, and seems to be the model student. What have we, as a society, done to her?

When the movie was being released, the radio spoke about the movie for about a week before its first release, and for about two weeks afterwards. They discussed how excited they were to watch it, how they loved the books so much, and how they couldn't wait to see it all happening in real life. They discussed how many sex scenes are in the book, as well as what sort of props are used. They discussed taking their mothers to see the movie! I don't know about you, but even if I were interested in watching that kind of thing, I would never in a million years take my mother to see it! That is not an exaggeration, either. It is just never something that I would consider appropriate. Even worse, in my opinion, is mothers taking their daughters to see it.

What is it that has society so animated about these books? From what I hear, the writing isn't even that great! Allow me to share my opinion (as if you haven't already seen what I think):

Every time that we, as adults, allow something like this to enter society without commenting on it, we actually condone it. When we condone it, the youth think that this kind of literature is acceptable. I'm not exactly old, but I remember a time when this would have been given one name, and one name only: pornography. It wouldn't even be given the honour of being called literature.

However, the world seems to have forgotten that something like this used to be looked down on, because it has a vaguely decent story and it seems to answer to a number of people's fantasies. Then, because so many other people have decided that it's good, we have people who never would have been interested in it in the past, deciding to give it a try, because of that age-old thing called peer pressure. Then, because so many people are reading the books or watching the movie, all of a sudden it doesn't seem so bad anymore. After all, it can't be bad if everyone loves it, can it?

I'll ask the question that my mom always used to ask us as kids: If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you follow? Now, in relation to this so-called literature, if all of your friends are reading something that you know is bad, would you follow? You know what's right. You have values and standards. Do you really want to jeopardise your knowledge of right and wrong because of what society has decided is good?

Let's look back a little into the past: society has changed its mind so many times about what is good and what isn't. We need only look at the history of fashion to see that. How many times in the last hundred years have fashions gone and come back? How many times have we watched old movies and thought to ourselves, "Ugh! Why would anybody want to wear that?" Guess what? Those huge perms weren't that long ago! Society is fickle. Society loves to change. The world cannot decide on one thing for a long time.

There is one thing that does not change, though, and that is what is right. When we read books like Fifty Shades of Grey, it does not help us to know what is right. If you think it's called that because we're learning all about the different aspects of the guy called Grey, you're wrong. It's called that because it's saying there are fifty shades of grey between black and white. It blurs the lines. There is no longer black and white; there is no longer right or wrong. Would you really like to read something that makes you question what you already know is right?

When I was in university, we studied a book called Lolita. This is a book about a paedophile, and it's written in such a way that you begin sympathising with him and believing that he is in the right. I chose not to read this book the moment I found out what it was about. The reason I did this? I didn't want to be forced to question what I already knew was true. In the same way, I don't want to read Fifty Shades of Grey because I already know what is right and wrong.

If we decide to give in to this trend, we will be betraying ourselves. We will no longer have any respect for right and wrong. The longer this fascination with books like this continues, we will be betraying the youth and their futures. We will be giving them the impression that a life that is portrayed in Fifty Shades of Grey is acceptable and even desirable, and they will pursue lives like that.

Do you really want to see your daughters behaving like that? Do you want your sons to lose all respect for women? I know I don't, and I will stand up against books and movies like this for as long as I can, and for as long as I have a voice.

A new life

So this may come as a shock... but I'm married! I know, right? What??? Well, it was kind of sudden and happened really quickly, but I'm really happy! My husband's name is Dominic Wentzel, and he's the best husband I could ever ask for. Just this morning, I had to stay home from school because I was sick, so he brought me toast, rooibos, medicine and a beanbag, without me even having to ask. He just knows exactly what I need, and he serves willingly. I often tell him that I feel like I don't do enough, but he tells me that I do more than he could ask for. I guess we each need different kinds of things, and we serve each other in our own ways.

Anyway, I love him more than anything, and I am happier than I've been for a while. I look forward to spending eternity with him, and I am so grateful for this Gospel that allows that wonderful gift.

A Night of a Million Stars

It feels like I have been constantly busy while I've been here, but a lot of what I was doing was all leading up to one night: A Night of a Million Stars. It was a talent evening put on by Centurion Stake, for the East Region. Technically I'm not in the East Region, but a friend of mine has his records in one of those wards, although he attends on the West side, which means that he could participate... and drag his family and friends in with him! So there were five of us singing A Thousand Years, by Christina Perri: Dom, Jonathan, Cayla, Sarah and me. Dom also played the piano, and we had Luke on the guitar and Tyler on the cello. It produced an amazing sound, even if I do say so myself!

In practising for the performance, I got to know their family pretty well, and have become a bit of a permanent fixture at their house... They've become my new family while I've been up here! So I am being well taken care of. Their family is just as crazy as my own, so I feel like I've slotted in without too much difficulty...

On a different note, I decided not to accept the offer which was given to me by the school I mentioned previously. Unfortunately, none of the other schools have been able to give any offers, but I have another interview on Monday morning in Centurion, which is where I have decided I would really like to live next year.

I've still not attended my own ward, because I've been ward hopping a little, but I'm going to be there this Sunday... I figured I should probably make myself known to my poor bishop, who has been sitting with the records of some unknown person for the past three weeks.

Other than that, I can't really think of much else to say! I'm having a great time, and I feel like I really belong here... I guess that's what's most important :)

Plunging into my new life

Who'd have thought that I would ever leave Cape Town? Surely nobody in my family thought that this would happen, since they have spent the better part of the last year trying to figure out why I was doing it. But the truth is, that I have always been drawn to Johannesburg. It is a city that is full of life and beauty, albeit a different kind of beauty to what I have experienced in Cape Town. There is no mistaking that I am happy here, and perhaps this is because I chose to come here, while many others who do not like it have come not of their own free will, but rather due to business obligations or other unpleasant reasons. It may be because I like the liveliness of the city, or because I like the huge amount of church activity. It may be because the Temple is here, or because I have so many friends up here, or because the people just seem so friendly. It may also be because I love the weather up here, and the lack of strong wind (for the most part). But whatever the reason, I absolutely love it here, and I am so privileged to be able to live here.

Since I moved up a week ago, I have had four job interviews already at different high schools, and I have even received an offer. I still need to hear the details of the offer before I make a decision, but I'm feeling pretty good about things. I am discovering that I actually really enjoy being interviewed. I enjoy talking, especially when I am an expert on the topic being discussed... and let's face it, who is more of an expert on me, than me? In any event, I feel pretty confident about my ability to find a school where I will be happy teaching, and near which I will be happy living.

In the meantime, I am living happily, getting as involved as I possibly can. I have joined an Institute class, in which we are studying Teachings of the Living Prophets, and sung at a missionary fireside for Weltevreden Ward... There are a few other things in the pipeline right now, but that's yet to come!

I have realised that one of the great things about being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is that I can go anywhere in the world (seriously, almost anywhere!) and immediately have a group of people with the same beliefs as me that I can fit into. I can immediately get involved with Institute, with church, and I can make friends quickly. I am so blessed! Honestly, I couldn't ask for anything more!

Well... maybe for a teaching post at a good school. But we'll see what happens there! :P

Cape Town Carnival

Last night, I had the opportunity to go to the Cape Town Carnival. This was after a great deal of deliberation, due to the fact that there was also a Ballroom Dancing social last night. However, I eventually decided that, since there are a number of socials I can attend, and only one carnival, I would rather go to that. After all, who knows when I'll be in Cape Town for another one?

It was tons of fun! It was wonderful seeing so many people participating -- young, old, male, female, black, white, and a whole lot in between. I missed the first few floats, because I was standing in a ridiculously long queue to get some food (Note to self: eat before the carnival next time!), but I could still see a little bit from where I was. It was absolutely amazing! There was a humongous flower, a weird voodoo looking float, a pirate ship, a praying mantis, and a lot more that I honestly couldn't figure out. The costumes were bright and imaginative (and some a little scary), and it was clear how much effort had been put into the event.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get any photos -- I'll need to get a camera sometime, and then I can really capture all these moments! But it really was a great night, which was topped off by a dinner with the YSA at Quay Four at the Waterfront. Overall, it was a great night! Thanks to my Institute class for persuading me to go! :)

Oh, Freedom!

It has happened. Finally. I had doubted if it ever would, but here I am to say it has. I have officially completed my undergraduate degree, and will be graduating in two weeks. For anybody who didn't know, I was studying a Bachelor of Arts in English and Linguistics. I also studied second year German this year, which was quite a challenge!

Anyway, I have finished that, and am moving on to the next stage of my life. Next year I will be studying a Postgraduate Certificate in Education, and I will then be qualified to teach English and Maths at a high school level. Once I have completed that, I will be done with my studies forever!

What's the plan after my studies? I will hopefully be moving up to Joburg to fulfill my bursary requirements there (I could do it in Cape Town, but I want to experience life differently, away from home). That will be four years of teaching at a government school, and at the end of it I will decide if I wish to remain in Joburg or move somewhere else. I may not even continue teaching. I would like to get more involved with editing, and I may do that once I have fulfilled my bursary requirements. I guess we'll just have to see!

My best friend's wedding

This past weekend was Carina and Ryan's ring ceremony, and I was lucky enough to be a bridesmaid. It was absolutely beautiful! They had been sealed in the Temple for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on the 17th of November, and they then came for their ring ceremony and reception down in Cape Town on the 24th of November. I won't lie, I almost cried a few times!

I had had the privilege of baking cupcakes for the reception, which they had as their wedding cake. I was constantly worried that I would mess them up, and would therefore be the cause for a ruined wedding (I know it wouldn't really be that bad, but I tend to feel under pressure!). Anyway, they turned out fine, and I had some pretty good reports.

I also had the privilege of singing a song for them at the reception, during which they had their first dance. I sang "The Way You Look Tonight", which turned out fairly well, despite all my nerves. I also played the piano for another couple who sang "All I Ask of You", from The Phantom of the Opera.

All in all, it was a really beautiful ceremony. Carina's and Ryan's messages to each other were really heartfelt and touching, and made me realise how much I want to experience a love like their's. They are so perfectly suited to each other, and I am so happy for them.